créditos: Pixabay

Stop gender prejudice

Clothes, perfume, even TV shows. We’re going through a moment in which gender discussion is ever more heated and polemic, and not all of us feel like talking out loud about our real thoughts.

Even if we’re not connected to gender and sexual discussions, we end up having to deal with routine situations which make us stop and think. Women are usually more easygoing when the subject arises, while men tend to turn a face when the talking is about gender.

The media push us through ideas and patterns about the subject that end up, in many cases, complicating our thinking even more.

I have two distinct realities around me: macho men who criticize the issues related to genders and their transitions; and natural homosexuality, constantly present in my work field. Deep down I have never had any problems with regards to that, on the contrary, but this is so latent nowadays that I just felt I had to bring the subject here.

I have a five-year-old daughter who is now going through the gender-questioning-phase. She asks about boy-girl toys, boy-girl plays, and goes beyond. She’s already asked me if two married moms are capable of having their own child, and after listening to what I had to say about it, she concluded that two women can’t physically have the seed.

I was surprised, thinking who could have told her about the little seed there, and explained that a man is needed, along with a woman, in order to “produce” a child, and soon after that she just forgot about it and never mentioned it again. Deep down she’s not worried about that because she still doesn’t judge anyone – that’s a horrible habit adults have, not children.

I wonder if men don’t accept the gender issue easily due to cultural problems. Or because they were raised differently, or just because. Why do so many men hate talking about it, even if it’s not their reality?

Why is it so easy and natural to accept two women together in bed, but it’s terrible to accept it socially, in marriages and in raising children? Why do you treat marvelously well a homosexual customer who brings lots of money to your business, but criticize the ones who have fought for marital rights? Are you a sexologist, an anthropologist or a historicist to even worry about it?

I know many polite men who would never think about pointing the finger to someone because they’ve chosen to be different. And I admire them. A man’s masculinity will never be put to proof because he simply accepts the idea without criticizing or making a big problem out of it.

I know a few men who couldn’t care less about environmental issues, sustainability issues, who aren’t even a bit worried about recycling, for example, who throw their plastic cups, glass bottles, organics and beer cans all in the same bin – but make sure they are heard when they want to point out to a gender ‘problem’.

Men should use all this strength and its transitions to take their dirty laundry from the basket, washing the dishes at the kitchen or patiently wait for their kids during the incredibly long ballet class.

Spending energy to criticize should be forbidden. Accepting people, family, friends and colleagues the way they chose to be should be mandatory, no clauses.

Wake up, guys! Conquer your women, be real examples to your kids. Stop living surrounded by paradigms, by prejudice. This repels not only the women, but also friends and family.

We are tired to macho men, who waste their time hating homosexuals, criticizing new families, new ways of loving. And believe me: no one decides to become a different person, to exchange gender, by being in the same room with others.


Mariana Goulart

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