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How to end a relationship

Finding the right person to share your life is a dream of many, I would dare say. But, on the other hand, maintaining a relationship that makes no sense is like living in hell.

The worst is when we keep surviving in an unwanted relationship just because we can’t gather the courage to end it once and for all. We start thinking about all the consequences: our partner’s family, the shared goals, the routine together, solitude, the dog we bought two years ago… It is indeed much easier to keep things as they are sometimes.

But going down that road is the same as declaring yourself a prisoner of a reality which progressively consumes your happiness – and then we start remembering our lives as a single person as a reality far, far away.

Do we actually need to do it that way, gentlemen? Of course not. All we must do to solve a situation like that is to take the initiative to change. Even because, if you’re the only one who feels like breaking up, she won’t be taking any actions towards that decision.

Yeah, yeah, of course we can’t just pull the plug and act like assholes. The ideal is to act like a dignified man, to assume your own feelings and wishes, and to expose them bravely.

We’re now going to share a few basic tips to encourage you to put and end to your relationship in case you’ve decided this is the best way to go right now.

#1 Be absolutely clear
Some people say that the best we can do when we break up is to withdraw little by little, acting in a way that makes the other half to be accustomed with our absence.

We don’t agree with that. Your partner won’t stop liking you just because you’re not giving her enough attention. So maybe the result in such cases is the opposite: she’ll want you even more.

The best thing to do if you want to break up is to be absolutely clear about your intentions. Spare some time, talk to her. Explain her how you feel and your reasons for wanting to break up. Do not let her think that you maybe want to finish the relationship. Be transparent and leave nothing left unsaid.

#2 Be as honest as you need to be
While you’re talking to her, you need to be clear, as we said before. Think about it: if she didn’t like you any longer, what would you prefer: that she kept playing with your feelings, or that she spoke the truth? No matter how much it hurts, we want the truth.

Of course a little sensibility during this moment is important. Our sincerity must come to make things totally clear, but not necessarily to expose facts that are going to hurt her feelings, just for the sake of it. Not everything needs to be said – just the necessary.

#3 Don’t take responsibility for her feelings
She loves you, right? She can’t imagine living her life without you, she cries when she thinks about it, it’s tough. But do not think that, just because of that, it is your responsibility to make her happy. And if it is, believe me, the best thing to do in that situation is to end the illusion.

No, you won’t simply ignore her feelings. But you can’t be stuck in a fake situation just because she still loves you. How long will this take until it breaks? Stop living a lie.

If you wish to end this relationship, the best thing you can do (to her and to yourself) is be honest about it. She lived quite well before you came along. Chances are she’ll still do after you leave.

#4 No clichés
Watch it, gentlemen: clichés are tempting. Sentences such as “it’s not you, it’s me”, “we’re just taking some time off” and such, give us the impression that things may change in the future. We are usually so nervous before this, that we try anything to decrease tension – and these sentences seem just perfect.

Well, stop it. These are the worst choices we can make. Hold it together, preferably quietly, in case you have nothing to say.

#5 Is there an ideal moment and place?
We don’t think so. But good sense is always good, anyway. Do not pick a public place or a place in which you two will be surrounded by colleagues and friends. Also, the break up shouldn’t happen when there isn’t enough time for talking or when the partner is about to enter a meeting or a job interview. C’mon!

Choose a quiet time of the day for both of you, pick a place where you two can have some privacy, and that’s it. No secrets.

#6 Make it in person
I wish I didn’t have to say this, but just in case: do not end a relationship over the phone, please.

 


El Hombre


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